I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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