Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
