I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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