all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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