what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize