I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The Olympian is in my bed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
