shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
