i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize