he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
