every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
