I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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