Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
