You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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