dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
