just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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