were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
