sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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