I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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