Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
