I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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