okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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