it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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