and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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