We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
