what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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