nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Enjoy the penises
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
