I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize