Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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