I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
