Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
