I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
