I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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