Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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