Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
