I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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