I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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