remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
