And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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