She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize