TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize