i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize