I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
