I just pynch a tree in the face
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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