if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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