so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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