kristin has been a bad kristin
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
