I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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