I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so let's talk penis.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
