Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
