Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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