she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
