The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
