Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
