I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
