turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
