Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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