Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
