Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
