He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
